Ross Grant - Conservative - Leicester South

I'm slightly miffed all the Conservative candidates are getting their campaign sites through Central Office. This tends to give the same touch to each. I'm looking at Ross Grant's site and he comes across well but nothing too exciting about Ross himself. Seeing as he "conducted research for a variety of industry sectors including public sector, international post services, retail and wholesale banking sectors" he could have given himself a really snazzy site.

That's where this "on message" stuff gets in the way of proper campaigning. By the time a real gem from Ross has done the rounds, been sanctified, sanitised and specially sanctioned, his electioneering message has lost its shine. Pity. He seems to have lots going for him. My advice is - read between the lines to get the real message.

I give Ross Grant's Campaign Site a Voter Friendly 4/10 for Election Information

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Eric Pickles is an online champ!

Whatever one may think of Eric Pickles, you can't fault his eagerness for internet campaigning. It's a mixture - sort of Yorkshire Terrier meets Essex Man - and I think he puts the Conservative cause quite nicely here.



His own website gives the impression of being a subtle blend of old Liberal campaign favourites "spot the pothole" and my mum's diary "I have always felt very proud to be super-common.”

I give Eric Pickles' Campaign Site a Voter Friendly 6/10 for Election Information (plus an extra point for personal bio!).

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David Cameron in a pickle with the voters

Telephoning voters will be a "thing" many of us will get used to over the next few weeks. These two are real pros. David Cameron has a top-notch telephone manner and Eric Pickles gets straight to the point. I'd love to be a fly on the wall here. "You do the colonel chappie David and I'll do the butcher bloke!"

Just imagine you're settling down to an evening's brainless box-watching and the phone rings. You hear Eric Pickles and his dulcet Yorkshire tones tempting you to vote Conservative. Are you in a mood to hear the message? I don't know, but apparently many people are, as otherwise Pickles and Dave wouldn't be doing it. But I'm not one for this American style coaxing. I prefer to watch the TV and see Eric sound off to the ones who need to give the answers. Or better still, see the action in person.

Basically they just want to hear the word "YES". I tend to waffle on a bit, so I think I'm down as a Miss, if you know what I mean.

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Priti Patel - Conservative - Witham

Witham is a new constituency in Essex. It has been formed by lopping off bits from Braintree, Colchester and Maldon to create a seat that is notionally Conservative with a majority of around 7,000. So it is almost a certainty that Priti Patel will become the MP for Witham. Apart from being a Saxon town in Essex with Roman remains, Witham was a short-lived spa town with pretensions of rivalling Bath and Cheltenham. A certain Dr. Taverner promoted his newly discovered mineral spring by stating, "This most excellent mineral water whose singular virtues and efficacy will render it beneficial in many if not in most chronic diseases incident on mankind".

I'm sure the Conservative message in Witham with have similar "singular virtues and efficacy" as the campaign progresses.

I give Priti Patel's Campaign Site a Voter Friendly 6/10 for Election Information.

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Sam Cam on the Terrible Channel Flicker!

We are going to get more of these YouTube offerings. Can you imagine Dorothy Macmillan giving a frank interview about "Harry"? Sam is speaking about Dave. I may be wrong, but I suspect he took a while to get used to being called Dave. Even the electorate hasn't gone that far!

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Conservative candidate faces de-selection over affair

Elizabeth Truss is the Conservative candidate for Norfolk South-West. She is also a woman who has had an affair. This is well in the past now, four years ago to be precise. However, some in the local association are getting all huffy. They are going to vote on her future on 16 November. No doubt it will make them feel a bit better.

Ms Truss has apologised, been open about it, made up with her husband, and just wishes to move on. One wonders what tiny minds are operating in this part of Norfolk. If we are to have fully verified saints as MPs how about having fully verified saints as members of a Conservative association?

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All-women short lists? Surely not!

David Cameron has come out in favour of all-women shortlists for the Conservative Party, or rather the Modern Conservatives. He thinks it's a good wheeze. Will get his benches filled with Dave's Babes just like Blair did in 1997 for his side of the House, so it will. It's probably a sign of the times. It's not really democracy as we know it. More a kind of set menu instead of a la carte.

I wonder what those great Tory women MPs of the past would have made of it. Imagine Margaret Thatcher pitted against five other women. How did she get selected at Finchley? Was she favoured in some way? I rather doubt it.

Edwina Currie, Dame Jill Knight, Nancy Astor, Peggy Fenner, Lady Olga Maitland, Dame Irene Ward (plus large hat!), Ann Widdecombe, Angela Rumbold, Joan Hall and Lady Tweedsmuir are ten notable women who have served the Conservative Party with both distinction and independent minds. Get those ten in a room (if only it were possible!) and get Dave to tell them that they faced an all-women shortlist and he may very well get a load of all-women short shrift!

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Norwich not tonight!

For the first time since I don't know when, the counters at the Norwich North by-election won't have to start counting until tomorrow morning. I think the last time a daytime result was on offer was the Honiton by-election in which Sir Peter Emery was victorious. 40-odd years ago! That was a good result - Emery stood to address the assembled masses and said, "The first thing you will want me to do is..." and a chap from the crowd conveniently interjected, "Bugger off back to Reading!". Gales of laughter from the Liberal Party and red faces from the Conservatives.

There are various reasons given as to why democratic tradition such as by-election night is knocked on the head. One is that it costs more to pay people, such as the police, to hang around until the early hours. Another is that bank clerks, traditionally employed for their rapid digit dexterity, are too knackered after a day counting other people's money in the financial product selling shops.

Whatever the reason, Norwich North has gone politically due south. No result until noon tomorrow. High Noon? Maybe. This has been a fairly fevered election, with UKIP and others putting up a bold fight for votes. Can the Conservatives cut the mustard? Maybe. But as Sir Jeremiah Colman wryly pointed out, he got rich by the amount of mustard people wasted on their plates. Can David Cameron get rich in votes or will the electorate waste them by staying at home?

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Bill Cash explains it all!

Conservative MP Bill Cash has said he does not intend to stand down over his expenses claims for rent on a "second home" owned by his daughter.

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